Spare Me

Sana computer ang utak ko. So I can delete everything that I want to delete. Like memories that I am not yet ready to recall. Memories that do not teach me something but only hurt me entirely. Ayoko na ma-stuck sa ganitong situation. I know God allows this to happen for me to learn and be prepared for whatever it is that will come but I swear, hindi ko na kaya. I am crushed already. Upos na ako. I want to forget everything and keep it away. Miserable ang buhay ko ngayon and yet I have to pretend that I am okay. Even though it means that I am also fooling myself. I want to fool myself that I am Okay. But I cannot just deny it. It is the truth. A painful truth. I just want to set aside my heart. Where I won't feel it. And let the pain subside. Let me forget. I have learned the lesson I ought to learn. Please spare me. This is pain I could not anymore handle.