I Secretly Pray..

I just read the three installments of 'Unconditional Love' articles by Joanne Rae Ramirez in her column in The Philippine Star, People. The articles brought tears to my eyes. I know this will sound absurd and maybe sound too crazy but I can only relate to myself. To what happened to my relationship. I know I cannot compare to what the people in the articles have done because mine can be too petty. He was just my boyfriend with whom I didn't even have shared years with. But I love him just the same. I say love because up until now the love I have given him the first time around has never yet ended. I also say the first time because the relationship, has started and ended more than once.

Beyond the words, I would make him feel my love. I will give him time unrestrained. But in the end, nothing has saved the relationship. Not my love, not his love, not the time, not the space. The relationship has gone. Slipped very far way. Flew as high as the clouds. It is not mine to hold. It is not mine to cherish. But up until now, crazy, silly, non sense, wrong may it be, I still love him the way that I love him before. I do not expect things to change. I do not expect happiness to turn around. I do not expect happy ending. My belief of such happy endings has already ceased after what has tranversed. The belief has remained only a relief.

Inside my heart even if I try my best to cover it, even to the point that I am already fooling myself, I secretly pray for him to turn around. I secretly pray that he will once again be mine. I secretly pray that I would be able to hear his voice again whispering I love you to me. I secretly pray that I would glance at my cellphone only to see his text saying how much he misses me. I secretly pray that 'honey'will not stab my heart anymore. I secretly pray that romantic flicks will not make me cry anymore. I secretly pray that I do not have to be sarcastic about love anymore.

In the end, I secretly pray that he and I will be US again, till the end of time.