Guilt Realm

I thought its my turn.
I thought finally.
I felt important.
I felt precious.
But I'm submerged.
Deep in a realm
of guilt.
Innocently, yes.
But I'm restless.
Afraid to face you.
Yet afraid to lose you.

Sorry

Sorry. Yan ang last text ko sa'yo. Hindi mo sinagot ang text ko na iyan at mas mabuti ngang ganun. Dahil kung tatanungin mo ako, mapipilitan akong sabihin ang totoo. Sorry.. kailangan kong lumayo, kahit sabi mo huwag kong putulin ang pagiging magbest natin. Sorry.. kasi im starting to fall for you. Hindi dapat eh. Nakikipagbalikan ka sa kaniya di ba kahit na ikaw naman ang nakipag break sa kaniya? Only shows na you don't really want to leave her. So ano pang gagawin ko. Ayaw ko namang saktan ang sarili ko. Better to leave. At nakakasira lang ako sa inyo. Maraming salamat ha. Sa lahat. Sorry...

I'm so sorry.. for starting to fall for you. I didn't mean to. Don't worry, if you need me, hindi kita tatalikuran. I'd still be your "best". But for now, now that you don't need me yet, I'll leave both of you alone. Wish you happiness. Sorry. Sorry...

Storm

The storm has passed.
I thought
the sun will shine.

It did not.
The clouds are here.
It rained.
A storm.
I cried.

Defriend

May natanggap akong message from you. Sabi mo tanggalin na kita sa friend's list ko at idedelete mo na din ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero may kurot nang mabasa ko iyon. That came unexpectedly. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ang kasunod. Sasabihin mo rin ba na hindi na rin tayo maguusap? I think I have to brace myself for when that moment comes. Nanghihinayang ako sa friendship natin, higit sa lahat kung magkakaganoon nga. Sabi mo hindi sa'yo galing yun. Sa kaniya. But still, may kurot akong naramdaman.

I was about to blog sana yung nakita kong status message niya nung gabing nagtext ka sa akin. I remember saying those lines before. And somehow, I felt her. Pero tama na nga siguro. What's meant to be, will be.

Lost and Now Found

I found you. Finally, I found you. But seems to me, you are now a little different. Maybe a little happier. I don't who is that with you but I will not ask. Over the period that you made a disappearing act on me, I thought I might be going overboard. I don't want to lose control of things. And I think at this time, things might be starting to go out of hand. So I will TRY to avoid you. And I will try HARD. Habang maaga pa kailangan ko nang tumalikod. Kailangan ko nang tumakbo papalayo. I will always thank you for everything that you have done for me. For everything that you have given me. The laughs, the comfort, the time. And, at that time, even the world. Thank you for all of that. I will never forget that. And so, I will still let you know that whatever happens, I am still here. If ever you will need me, I am only here. Waiting to be needed, waiting to be missed.

Ending it?

How do you say goodbye to someone who is a friend to you? How to end something that you have been relying to for a while now? How to let go of the hand that held yours to guide you from the dark? He who led you out of the dark tunnel into the bright sidewalk. He who lent you his shoulder to lean on. He who made you smile when you were about to cry. He who made each passing day easier to bear.


Sometimes I hope for longer times back when things are how they used to be.
Sometimes I long for conversations that meant to lighten a burden.
But you know what?
What I'm really searching for is the friendship that has transpired but now I cannot seem to find.

I'm looking for my "best".

Don't Give Up On Us

Iyan ang pinapalabas sa TV kanina sa clinic nung sinamahan ko lola ko sa doctor kanina. Habang nanonood ako, naisip ko buti pa sa pelikula at palabas sa TV madalas sa hindi, alam mo na kung sino ang magkakatuluyan sa huli. Kapag ang mga tauhan ay magka-loveteam, kahit na sa umpisa ay meron na silang ibang kapartner, hindi maaaring sila ang magkatuluyan sa huli. Ang magka-loveteam pa rin ang magkakatuluyan.

Naisip ko, sana sa totoong buhay ganun din. Alam na kagad natin kung sino ang pangmatagalan at sino ang dadaan lang sa buhay natin. Sana puwedeng kapag may nakilala tayo at nakarelasyon, alam na natin kung siya ba ay dumating sa buhay natin para tayo ay turuan lang ng leksyon o panghabambuhay na siyang makakasama natin. Para kung sakali man na dumating ang panahon na magkakahiwalay kayo alam mo na kung dapat mo ba siyang iyakan ng husto o hahayaan mo na lang dahil alam mo nang hindi siya ang nakatakda para sa'yo.