I will never be enough

I know I am not the best. And I know that I never will be. I'm doing my best but my best is never good enough. I will always be compared with my friends and I will always fall short. Whilst my friends are very different from me, they may be much better than me. And yet, there's only one thing that I did that they have not done. I never left the family, not for a better opportunity not even for love. They will always compare me with my friends and they will always prevail. But what they have not realized is that I have sacrificed myself for them. I turned down what supposed to be a new chapter in my life for them and yet it is not enough. I am not good enough for them despite all. I will never be enough. Or maybe it's just wrong of me to forsake my own happiness and stayed with them instead of living my own life, calling my own shots?!

Golds at Dusk

Golds at Dusk

Alone with my thoughts,
staring into horizon.
I found nuggets,
shimmering and shining.
Amidst jades,
are there golds.

While sky is dimming,
your rays are dancing.
Who would have guessed,
your importance is less.
But you are to me,
the best you got to be.

~March 9, 2011. watching lamps hung in trees at the Luneta Park