You Can

You can do this. Kung dito ka masaya, gawin mo lahat para hindi ka matalo. Fight against your inner demons. Hindi nila kayang sirain ang spirit mo. Fight! Kaya mo to. Kalimutan mo silang lahat. Magsulat ka dahil gusto mo. Magsulat ka dahil dun ka masaya. Wag mo madaliin. Gamitin mo ang puso mo sa pagsusulat. At ano man ang sabihin ng kahit na sino, magiging masaya ka, dahil galing sa puso mo ang bawat salitang sinusulat mo. Lumaban ka. Matagal mo nang pinangarap to. Ngayon ka pa ba susuko? Ngayon pa ba?

Poem #3 9/28/11

Ode to Sayuri

Life's been harsh,

since you were young.

Still you're lucky

when true love you've found.

I were with you every step you took,

'till to the Chairman, you brought yourself close.

I cried with you from the old theater,

but after Cruel Rain, I felt better.

Though I feared the tears are Pumpkin's,

comfort came when you were caught sleeping.

How I wish to find my Chairman,

I wonder when will my shaved ice cherry finally come.



(inspired by Memoirs of a Geisha)

Poem #2 9/28/11

Across the park walks a couple,

thought they brought with them a parasol.

Remembered Japan as they hobble,

with this weather it is possible.

Though its just because of a geisha's memoirs,

I can still feel Sayuri's remorse.

It only proves I don't just read,

my soul also these books feed.

Poem #1 9/28/11

It was most of the times troublesome.

Half of tis existence, problematic.

It was before the envy of many.

It is now jealous and envious.

It was happy and gay during its tender years.

Now cries and sobs it only hears.

Then, it hopes for luxuries.

Now it yearns for peace.

Before it wishes for more.

Today it wants less.

Less chaos.

Less conflicts.

Less obstacles --my life.

Of Human and Animals

I have just finished watching "Marley and Me" and I felt this urge to blog about it. Well, not about the movie, but the experience. Because boy, I cried a liter. I did not really cry that much but I trust that if I went to sleep this instant, my eyes would be very sore tomorrow morning. You judge how much did I cry. 

I do not have a pet in the present and it has been years since I last had one. We have taken different kinds of pets when I was a child. We have had goldfish, rabbit, lovebirds, and my most loved, a dog. If my mind does not fail me, that dog, Boomer, was a Pomeranian breed. I did not even know anything about breeds not until I was already in college when I knew little things about it. Since internet can pretty much give you a lecture on dog breeds, I soon found out that Boomer was indeed a Pomeranian, mix bred or not, that much I cannot tell anymore. Of the years that we have shared, Boomer and I, I only managed to have two pictures of us together, and as of the moment, I have managed to keep only one. If I'm not mistaken, I believe that the other one I submitted as a school assignment and well, never got it back. Boomer and I were not so close. Well, what do you expect with someone who was not allowed to play with dogs as a measure of safety, due to over protectiveness. But we had some moments of bonding: I have rubbed his head, petted him, played a little with him. But I never really got to cuddle him and hug him that much. 

I got home one night hearing nothing after I pressed the doorbell which is unbelievable since Boomer always, never fails, to bark loudly whenever someone presses our doorbell. I rushed my way up the stairs and walked directly to the terrace where he was and knocked on the door, loudly calling his name. At first nobody told me anything. But after a while, they finally told me the truth. I cannot really remember the pain now, nor can I recall how I felt or said when they told me Boomer has died. Everything about the immediate moment after telling me what happened was a haze now. But one thing that I vividly recall until now is how much I cried. I cried my eyes out and threw a tantrum. I cannot be pacified then.

I know for a fact that I cannot really say that I am an animal lover, but I know that I do not want them to hurt either. In movies, TV programs, stories, where animals are involved, I always cry whenever these animals are put into tests, when they get hurt, abused physically or verbally, and of course, when they die. I can still remember how much I cried while watching Free Willy. I cried too while watching Babe, and I cried a lot still  with Andre, heck, I even cried for Godzilla. So even though these are animals, not to mention only movies, I still feel for them. Because to me, once you had them as your pets, or if you have somehow formed an acquaintance with them it does not really matter that they cannot talk and think like you. And that sometimes you don't even get their point, but nevertheless, they touch you. They comfort you, and they love you. And most importantly, you loved them. So these pets, even not humans, you treat them as a part of your family. When it is time for them to leave you, they leave a huge empty spot in your heart. You lose a part of yourself with them, and at the end of the day, you will admit that they are not just animals nor pets, they are family.

Just friends

Sometimes we cannot avoid falling in love with our friend. And sometimes we also cannot force ourself to love our friend back the way he wanted us to. No. I am not in love with a friend of mine nor am I even in love. But I believe this is the story of Anita and Andy. Well, I do not know them in a personal level but as to what their friends say, and in fact almost the whole country knows about this "rumor", I think it is quite true.

I am talking about the late Anita Mui and her believed to be "love", Andy Lau. Yeah, the two great singers of the Canto Pop industry in Hong Kong. I was listening to old musics when I unearthed yet again a video of their duet of one of my favorite songs during my teenage years:



I cannot help feeling melancholic whenever I see this video or any video of the two of them. I have found so many other videos of the two of them and in each and every video, I can see, and cannot be denied that there's something in Anita's eyes whenever she looks at Andy or in general, whenever she is with him. I think that this song really is very suitable for the both of them to have a duet on. In every videos of them that I kind of rediscover, it was very clear that Anita has this unusual glow in her face that proves to me that she is indeed in love with Andy. Sadly, I do not see the same in Andy's face. Yes, I can see that he cares for her but I do not see anything else beside that. Sad, but one sided love and especially when your object of affection is your friend is bittersweet. My heart goes with Anita and I really really admire her for not avoiding Andy. They took care of each other until the end. And I admire both of them for that. But still, it really is sad that someone who loves that genuinely cannot be loved back.